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When I met my wife I passed on something special and it was this.

Of all the people you love the ones you love the most are the ones who make you Laugh. Honey.... You Make Me Laugh!

 This is a great fun video (Adult)                     In Honor of the Olmpic's                   For New Stuff  

                    For New Stuff                    For New Stuff                   For New Stuff
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A 2006 study found that the average American walks about 900 miles per year.
 Another study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer per year.

  That means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon.

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That's how the fight started

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight
started....

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the
beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how
the fight started.

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
SocialSecurity. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to
go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair
on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security
application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience
at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your
pants. You might have gotten disability, too'. And that's how the fight
started.....

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table.My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my
wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just
get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't
believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me,
and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well,
then which one are you?' And that's how the fight started.....

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took myorder
first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't
you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' And that's
how the fight started.....

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THE 6 BEST SMART-BASS ANSWERS
SMART BASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on American Airlines.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.


SMART BASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


SMART BASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


SMART BASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


SMART BASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead".
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."



SMART BASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."